Posts Tagged ‘breasts’

I recently read Diablo Cody’s memoir Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper thanks to this post for inspiring me to do so.
I LOVED this book!
I read it cover to cover in less than 24 hours.
It made me what to turn back the hands of time (READ: Before I had kids) and be as daring as she was.
Ok, so maybe there was a time when I was 18 daring.

**WARNING**

If you are related to me, yes Mom, I mean you and oh yeah, you as well my dear sister, you might just want to click on that little X in the top right corner of your browser and close this.  If you do continue to read it you will not be allowed to mention it or discuss it with me at any time. Okay? Okay!  The same goes for you other family members who stop by and read every now and then!

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So……
Back to that time when I was 18 daring, I did pull what I now like to call a Diablo Cody on a dare.

This again was back in the day when I weighed 145lbs, had a flat tummy, perky breasts and zero stretch marks.

With all of this, I obtained confidence.

Nothing scared me.

Yeah….I know….back to what I will forever refer to as pulling a Diablo Cody.

During the time when I was 18 daring……

I may or may not have participated in an amateur night at a local club where the ‘entertainers‘ may or may not perform on a stage that has a pole erected in the middle of it and offers some unflattering lighting.

I also, may or may not have donned the aforementioned stage and I may or may not have danced seductively around that stage while I may or may not have removed my clothing and brushed certain body parts up against skeezy men and sweet women who pulled up a chair at the tip rail in exchange for folded up dirty $1, $5, $10 and $20 bills

and

I may or may not have even taken home the $250 prize for the best amateur that night.

Being 18 daring was a long time ago so forgive me if I cannot recall if these events did in fact happen or if they are all just a figment of my imagination.

Again, that is for me to know.

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Anywho, if you are looking for a great read and want to know what it really is like being a stripper, I suggest you pick up this book and give it a try.

Although we have reached the end of Breast Cancer Awareness month, please continue to do your part in the fight against this horrible disease.
In the 31 days of posting my Daily Dose of Boobs related material I have shared this information with over 1,000 people and am quite please with that.

The colors on my blog will go back to normal and my avatar will change her clothes but even though these things will happen, I will still continue to support the cause, pray for a cure and keep hope in my heart that someday this disease will not affect the world as it currently does.

With that in mind, I thought this month should end on a happy note, so here is a little something to make you chuckle and I hope you bust up laughing as much as I did, in an almost piss my pants while driving my car kind of way.

Enjoy!

By Robert Lund

And just in case you didn’t follow that, here are the lyrics:

Jugs and orbs and darts and gourds
Elmer Fudds and bouncing Buddhas
Sweater stretchers, lung protectors
Beach umbrellas, frost detectors
Scooby Snacks and snake-eyes dice
Jell-o molds and high-beam lights
Every day I probably use
99 words for boobs

Humpty Dumplings, Hardy Boys
Double lattes, Ode to Joys
Hooters, shooters, physics tutors
Bobbsey Twins and bald commuters
Double-WMD’s
MRE’s and PFD’s
Snow-white dwarfs, Picasso cubes
99 words for boobs

Gerber servers, holy grails
Whoopee cushions, humpback whales
Flying saucers, traffic stoppers
Super Big Gulps, Double Whoppers
Pillows, billows, Don DeLillos
Soft-serve cones and armadillos
Pimped-out hubcaps, inner tubes
99 words for boobs

Midget earmuffs, warming globes
Strobes and probes and frontal lobes
Knockers, honkers, knicker bonkers
Smurfs and Screaming Yellow Zonkers
Tannin’ cannons, Mister Bigs
Big bad wolves and Porky Pigs
Jogging partners, saline noobs
99 words for boobs

Two-point jumpers, Bambi’s Thumpers
Rubber baby buggy bumpers
Rutabagas, Chi Omegas
Schwag the showgirls show in Vegas
Congo bongos, bowling pins
Fast-pitch softballs, siamese twins
Your claims I’m breast-obsessed are true
We’re quite a pair ’cause I’m a boob too

God Heals

By Anonymous

Remember when you heard the words -
and your mind went blank – you were in another world
God heals
Remember in your darkest hours -
when all that surrounds you is pain and sorrow
God heals
Remember friends’ prayers – your family’s encouragement
- glimmers of hope from everyday angels
God heals
Quiet…you can hear Him now -
always there – yet never this close
God heals
It’s just another day -
yet everything has changed – and you hear yourself say
God heals
Birds are singing -
the sky is a beautiful blue – flowers are blooming…
God heals
Truths that you knew as a child -
awakened again with new understanding
God heals
Remember when others can’t -
that life is a gift – each day to treasure
God Has Healed

As Breast Cancer Awareness month comes to a close and I prepare to wrap up my series of postings on all things boobie related,  I wanted to take this time to hear how breast cancer has affected you, my readers.

I know that many of you have been or had family members and friends that have been diagnosed, survived or lost their lives due to this horrible illness.

Please take a moment and leave a comment below and share your story with others.

If you would like to remain anonymous please feel free to put Anonymous in the name field and just a dummy email address.

Thank you for sharing your story, your thoughts and your words with the rest of us.

Again, not my body, not my tattoo but this speaks volumes to me.